I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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