Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
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I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
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Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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