Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
kristin has been a bad kristin
someone owes me an orgasm
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
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