At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Randomize