I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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