I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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