he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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