How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
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