feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize