I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
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