Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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