I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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