You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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