you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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