I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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