Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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