either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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