you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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