Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize