i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
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