I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think people are normalizing furries
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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