I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
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This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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