she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
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Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
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The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I did not marry a roomba.
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