I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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