this boner is exhausting
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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