she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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