DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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