If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Shame is for Republicans.
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