Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
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I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
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Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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