WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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