Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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