you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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