When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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