I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
The best revenge is premature balding
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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