He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
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Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
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You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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