wakey wakey hands off snakey
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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