as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize