you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize