We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize