Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
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i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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