Someone shit on the floor
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize