"it" just moved
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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