My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize