In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
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I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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