Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
this must be what syphilis tastes like
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
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