hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I am available for nakedness
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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