Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
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