He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize