i think my mom watched the whole time
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
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Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
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How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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