Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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